BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m still in SHOCK!

It’s only 8 days after a 3 day transfer, which equates to testing  at around 11 days past ovulation, or 3 days before a missed period which is still pretty early. I wasn’t expecting the line to turn so dark so fast. With Jasper I tested on the same day and you could barely see it!

My Beta HCG test (blood test to confirm pregnancy) wasn’t scheduled until Monday, but there was NO WAY I was going to wait until then a) because I’m too impatient and b) because it means going into the office early in the morning and waiting around minute by agonizing minute until they call you with the results that afternoon.  When I think of being told I’m pregnant or not pregnant by a nurse on the other end of the phone, and then calling Jeff with the good or bad news at work.. it’s just so CLINICAL.

I know that’s an odd thing to say because the whole IVF process is clinical, but this part, this one little part I wanted us to experience at home like a normal couple and either celebrate together or cry in each others arms.

Of course it still didn’t work out exactly as I had it in my head..

I woke up at 6am and had to pee SO BADLY that there was no way I could wait until Jeff and Jasper woke up at their usual 7am or so.  But I also knew that was early to test so it would be essential to use first morning urine.

So I tested.. and then when it turned positive I ran and dragged Jeff out of bed into the bathroom where I presented him with the two lines..

He was so bleary eyed it took him a good minute or so to register what I was showing him… those two lines that we’ve only ever seen one other time and probably will never see again!

I emailed my Dr. who told me to come in for the Beta blood test today, I will go back again Monday to see if the Beta HCG is rising appropriately. If it doesn’t, that means bad news for this being a viable pregnancy.  He also cautioned me that it’s still very early and I should only be cautiously optimistic. And my head KNOWS that.

But the fact is that with our BFP with Jasper I was SO scared in the beginning that I actually burst into tears at the Dr’s office getting my blood drawn for the second Beta test.. so scared that I couldn’t let myself enjoy the good news.

So yes, I KNOW there is SO much that can go wrong still, particularly at my age.  But I feel joyful, so even if the wise thing to do is guard my heart against disappointment, I want to enjoy this feeling of being pregnant knowing how hard we worked to get here and just bask in it for at least the weekend.

THANK YOU for all the positive vibes, prayers, well wishes or whatever you have offered up on our behalf.  Whichever way this goes, I am so very grateful for your support!!

PS: If you are the betting kind, when I was pregnant with Jasper the Giants and the Patriots played in the superbowl and the Giants won. I had a good feeling about our chances for this cycle when I found out the same teams were playing this year and I’m pretty sure we are going to have a repeat performance from the Giants. Being Giants fans that could all be wishful thinking, but we will DEFINITELY be placing some money on them to win – we are feeling very lucky :)

UPDATE: For those of you who know what these numbers mean, I just got the callback with my Beta. 112! OMG. With Jasper at 12 days (not 11 like today) it was 31.  GULP!

Filed under: BFP, IVF by ariana
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