More News from the Infertility Front

I need surgery :(

Ok, it’s outpatient no incision surgery, but still I have to go under general anesthesia which I’ve never done before so I’m a little freaked out! But I’m getting ahead of myself..

(BTW, it feels like really bad deja-vu to even be talking about IF..I would much rather be sharing new photos, but this is what’s going on right now.)

I don’t know how many of you were reading way back when I discovered I had a polyp in my uterus that needed to come out? Well about a week later I found out I was pregnant with Jasper.

The R.E. (reproductive endocrinologist for those of you more fertile people!) who I went to last week who told me I needed a bunch of tests (a repeat HSG, blood screening etc) was NOT the R.E. that I went to when we were trying to conceive Jasper because I mistakenly thought he didn’t take my current insurance.  I left the new RE’s office a little annoyed with the amount of red tape test taking I was going to need, but resigned to it. Then, I spent three very frustrating days trying to get a hold of the receptionist who said she would check on my insurance information for me and I got worried. Like really really worried because ease of communication while you are cycling is HUGE.  I couldn’t even REACH the satellite westchester office I went to without getting cycled back to the phone system in the NYC office. I understand they can’t answer all the calls, but there isn’t even the option to leave a voicemail for callback!

So, out of desperation and frustration I checked ONE more time to see of maybe by some miracle my old RE’s office was now taking Aetna.. and I almost fell off my chair when I saw that they do! I called immediately to confirm and they picked up on the first ring -I almost cried on the phone out of happy relief as I made an appointment to see Dr. K.

They got me right in and I saw him yesterday – what a world of difference!  The receptionist immediately called my insurance company and Rx company to confirm that everything was covered (which it is, yay!) and I just felt so grateful and relieved to be in the office of the man that helped conceive Jasper.  He gave me his card and asked if I still had his email address because he’s always available by email.  See? World of difference.

After chatting for a bit we went back to do an ultrasound and he saw a very very large polyp (presumably the same one that was there before but not necessarily) that had now grown to be almost an inch long, which is pretty huge compared to the small size of a uterus with no baby in there.  Based on it’s size, and the fact that it is growing he recommended confirming it with a saline sonogram that it’s a polyp (vs a fibroid or??) and then removal before I begin treatments.

The thing about a polyp that size is that not only can it prevent implantation, but it can cause miscarriage if the embryo DOES implant on the polyp.  I had kind of assumed it would be an in office procedure, but he said that it’s too large and it would need to be done at a hospital under general anesthesia.. bringing me full circle to the “I’m freaked Out” part.

Anyway, it’s not THAT big a deal, and in some way it’s a relief to even have something to possibly pin my fertility issues on, but the whole thing seems so surreal and ..different this time around.

Last time I was so DESPERATE to have a baby I would have done anything.  Really, anything. This time there is so much more ambivalence.. because if truth be told, I don’t really want a baby.  Don’t get me wrong, I want another CHILD, but can we please skip the whole newborn reflux colic nightmare that is the first year? Given the level of post traumatic stress I still experience when I think about Jasper’s first year I am probably going into this as much scared (if not more) than excited. And it feels WEIRD. Because doing IF treatments require a level of time commitment, emotional stress, physical discomfort and a multitude of other rather unpleasant things that seem to be incompatible with ambivalence.

But, that is the strange reality that I find myself in. I guess it’s better than the near emotional breakdown levels of stress I experienced the first time.  At least now I know that no matter what  happens, I am a mother and I don’t feel “incomplete” the way I did before Jasper and that I have so much to be grateful for!

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Dana says:

I promise not all babies are a nightmare in their first year! : )

ariana says:

Sherean, not yet! Scheduled for the 16th.. I’m getting nervous. Just waiting to get my period, then go in for day 2 and pre op bloodwork, then a saline sonogram and then surgery (if the timing all works out!) Thanks for sharing your story though.. nice to hear it went smoothly and you were pregnant the next cycle!!

Sherean says:

Have you had the surgery yet? I had the same thing. The doc told my husband the polyp looked like a catcher’s mitt, blocking the plate, so to speak. I had never had general anesthesia before, either. They gave me an ativan and just before they put me under, I said I was nervous and they offered me another, which I gratefully accepted. The surgery was no big deal and we were pregnant the next month. Honestly, that saline ultrasound was more uncomfortable. I hated those!

Good luck. I have a feeling this will be a breeze compared to everything else you’ve been through.

Alexandria says:

Wishing you the best of luck with everything :-)

Ava says:

Oh wow! I wish you luck. Lots of luck! I’ve gone under general several times and it’s really no big whop. Actually I prefer it to local (even though local is safer, blah, blah, blah…)
If what DaveZ says is true, if your insurance balks at the cost of a polyp being removed as part of an IF procedure, can you have it done w/ your OB? Would you want to?

Also the skipping the baby part, I get. I will say though that S2 and G? TOTALLY different experiences. I’m glad I had G first because he set expectations so realistically. So… I wish you an easy experience with your #2.
And squeeeee — I hope to hear good news coming from you soon.

… but you’re still gonna be my roomie at WPPI next year, right? And if not, I will accept pregnancy as an excuse ;p

jbhat says:

I too love your honesty in this post (and of course, as always). I am sure the removal will be a breeze (as breezy as those things can be)…and I wish you peace as you wrest with the decision about whether to go for it.



ariana says:

Thanks everyone for your comments! I’m kind of amazed at how different everyone’s experience has been with this kind of thing from no big deal to Sun’s comment!

Glad also to hear that most of you with two had an easier time with baby #2 – I can only hope we are so lucky (if we are lucky enough to have #2 to begin with!)

Sun says:

OMG! I remember when I was told I had several polyps and needed to be removed. I already had my 3 boys and we were done having babies. I did go under and they did a thermal abrasion. Ever since I had that done, my body hasn’t been right. I wish I could go back and made a different decision. I wish you and your family the best of luck

Chantal says:

Whoo hoo, I had no idea you guys were thinking of having another! Well, I knew you wanted to, but anyway… good luck with the surgery, from what I understand it’s pretty routine which I’m sure doesn’t make you feel better but at least it’s not some obscure thing the doctors don’t do very often.

Each baby is sooo different. Annora was super easy compared to Kai, and yet Kai slept so much better, and from earlier on, that it makes things seem like we had a better experience with him. In any case the stress levels were way lower the second time around, since we knew not to freak over every little thing. Lots of good luck vibes coming from me!

Karen H says:

I agree with the other commenters—I have two children and they couldn’t be more different. You will be amazed at how different your children will be. Don’t let Jasper’s first year scare you, I actually think it was easier the second time around. Good Luck!

molly says:

Oh Ariana, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this polyp on top of the rest of the IF crap.

I had a uterus polyp when I went for my first u/s with my second child. They said it was no big deal so now that has me calling bullshit! They didn’t mention anything about miscarriage. Eeeek!

Anyway, I’m so glad you got back in with the RE you love and that there is a comfortability there.

and p.s. don’t worry too much about Jasper’s first year. Each baby is so very different. I am a good example as the first years of both my boys were just completely opposite both for good and bad reasons.

Good luck with everything and I’ll be thinking of you!

Jane Little says:

I have had surgery to remove both polyps (out patient)and fibroids (3 day hospital stay)and I have to say that neither surgery was as bad as I thought. The worst part is the anticipation. Hang in there!

Carlise says:

I just had this procedure done the beginning of May. I, too, was very nervous and scared before going in. Since it’s fresh on my mind this is what I can relay to you per my experience: I did not like the anesthesia at all!! The controller in me didn’t like the oozy feeling you are left with when you are waking out of it. If I had known this feeling was going to be tough for me to handle I would have coxed myself into trying to rest it out completely until the effects wore off…in other words don’t fight the anesthesia leaving your body just try to go with the flow. Recovery for me was a breeze. Coming back from the hospital I just felt tired so prepare to sleep/rest for the day after you come home. The two days after I felt a little crampy but by the third day I felt like my ole self again…think a really bad cycle that forces you to take two motrin and veg out on the couch. If you can get a friend or family member to stay with you for the first two days after surgery that way you can allow your body to heal as quickly as it can without overdoing it. So basically the anesthesia part was the only thing that affected me more than I thought it would and healing was like the first couple days of a crampy cycle. Good luck and if you have any questions or anything do not hesitate. ((HUGS))

Christina says:

Thinking of you and wishing you well. I love your honesty in this post. I hope you get an easy baby. I’ve had two difficult ones and also feel I suffer from post traumatic stress from the experiences – MSPI, reflux, “colic” – ugh! But the 6 months to a year of hell have highlights, they go fast, and in the scheme of things, it’s a short period of time. Hope everything goes well!

Kimberly says:

Hi! I’m sooooo excited to hear you and Jeff are going for round two!!!! :) Sending good thoughts and positive energy and prayers (though I know that’s not really your thing…) for an easy fix for the polyp, and an easy BFP, and an EASY BABY!!! :) Just because Jasper was difficult doesn’t mean the next one will be. Sending lots of love… and btw, James and I were just talking about Jasper the other morning… funny… he STILL remembers him! :)

mizzy N says:

My dearest blogger, like joelle said your health is most important here. sorry to hear that you have to face so much hurdles to get a baby. Is adoption an alternative for you? For me that was an option that I have to think about before marriage especially regarding my obscenely unhealthy lifestyle – fast food and not exercising.

I hope that all will end well for you. FYI I have a 2mm fibroid inside of me but it poses no risk so far and now i am pregnant with my first child. BTW i got to know about the fibroid during a baby scan session.

Joelle says:

I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Baby or no new baby, your health is most important.

Pam says:

Definitely crossing my fingers for you on both the surgery and a successful end to all the IF treatments!! I too was not a big fan of the baby stage, hence one of the reasons we’re one and done!

Davezwife says:

hey lady – sorry to hear about the frustrations.
Just a note about the polypectomy… I just had one removed in the OBGYN office. I had to fight for it (sure I did, $20 co-pay vs $5k? yup) but it was a piece of cake. motrin and an ativan prior, just some minor cramping. Mine was “just smaller than an inch” and he cleaned up a bunch of other misc. tissue in there as well. (I had previous ones removed under general, not knowing how easy this way.) Oh yeah, I got to watch on the ute-cam, too! fun! lol. I do believe that deeper-rooter fibroids bring other considerations, but depending on your SHG, I hope you can pull off the less invasive, and more affordable, “snip and clean” I got.
Good luck!!!!
(ps- I was told that ANY thing like a polyp would act like an IUD, and prevent the lining from doing it’s job, and ward off good implantation. You have more to worry about than just the embie sitting up camp ON the tissue, you need that out of there for other reasons, too.)