Every night for the past three nights I start with cramping and contractions at about 4am. They usually stop shortly after, but this morning, they turned into regular contractions for about 7-9 minutes apart for an hour or so… and then stopped.

Well, haven’t totally stopped, but are now just sporadic. I totally give up!

I’m having bloody show now (isn’t that the loveliest expression?) and so wearing huge granny panties and a pad which is fun too. At least I feel like something is going on, but I really really thought this morning’s contractions were the real thing, so obviously I have NO idea when it’s real or not.

I sent Jeff to work, have an appointment at the midwife’s clinic at 2pm. They better tell me I’m more than 1 cm and close to real labor or I will SERIOUSLY lose it (my mind that is, not my mucus plug!)

After my appointment I go back to Phelps for another NST, will see Judy again so we can further discuss induction. I need to figure out a plan with them that does NOT involve the use of cytotec which she said is what they normally would use. I’ve read way too many scary things about cytotec so will try to figure out something else.

Hopefully I won’t need to, but at this point I’m somewhat convinced my body has NO IDEA how to go into real labor.

:(

Who would have ever thought I’d be so overjoyed to see brown discharge and a gelatinous brown glob in my toilet this morning when I peed? This pregnancy business really strips you of all modesty and decorum.

I’m glad the cramping and contractions I’ve had over the past few days seem to be doing SOMETHING.. I was beginning to think the mucus plug was some sort of urban legend, or that maybe I just didn’t have one.

I really had expected that last night would be the night I finally went into labor.. Jeff and I went to Bear Mountain State Park yesterday and we must have walked 3-5 miles. Even he was exhausted. I even bought the guided childbirth imagery that my acupuncturist played for me and fell asleep to it last night hoping it would put me in the right “ready for birth” frame of mind. Still nothing! I thought that all that exertion, imagery plus the full moon last night was going to do the trick.

Today is the birthday of both my Grandmother Eunice and Jasper’s soon to be uncle Justin, so it’s a great day to come out little one if you are listening!

Thank you all for your kind comments and reassurances after my last post. There is a part in my guided childbirth imagery where she talks about surrounding yourself with the light of every good intention and blessing ever sent your way. Thanks to you all, I feel I have so many :)

I woke up early full of excitement about my BPP U/S (biophysical profile Ultrasound) to get a sense of how big the baby is and make sure things look Ok in there. There are a couple of concerns with post date babies other than size, like declining amniotic fluid levels and exchange between baby and placenta.

In order to get a growth estimate they need all these specific measurements which then calculate into some formula and then they tell you how big the baby is.

Everything started out well enough, until the tech asked me “Is your husband short?”

Me: “What? No, he’s 6′1″, why is the baby too short??”

Tech: “No.. just curious”

(Me: yeah right!)

Then she proceeds to take the femur length measurement about 100 times. At this point I know something is wrong…

“Is there something wrong with his leg?” I ask.

Turns out there’s this screen at the end of a BPP that shows you what weeks and days all the measurements come out to. Baby’s head is appropriately sized for 40 weeks 5 days, (i.e. big!) and his abdomen too. But the first measurements she got of his leg was for just 37 weeks and change. After trying to get better angles she managed to up this to 38 weeks, but I could tell it still isn’t enough because she talked about getting a colleague in there to try to get a better shot etc. You know it’s bad when they need someone else to take a look!

After we’d been at it for over an hour, she tried to reassure me that it’s probably something technical, i.e the measurement is off and that I shouldn’t worry etc.

Telling me not to worry is a complete exercise in futility – worrying is second nature to me, and when I think there is something wrong with my baby, there is NO stopping my head from constructing the worse possible scenarios.

After the U/S I went up to L&D for a Non Stress Test (NST) and to go over the U/S results with the Midwife on call Judy, who happened to be the midwife I saw at my last 40 week appointment.

Everything but the leg came back normal, though they did estimate his weight at 8lbs 8 oz. and based on ALL the measurements put my due date at 8/17/08 rather than 8/10/08. I guess everything but his head measured a bit behind?  But how could he be a week behind and weight that much? It doesn’t even make sense.

Judy agreed. She palpated my stomach and said she really didn’t think he was 8.5 lbs. I voiced my concern over the leg measurement and she told me that a 38 week leg measurement is a term measurement and I shouldn’t worry.

She also shared with me that at one of her son’s growth scans the tech told her his limbs were the size of dwarfism limbs! She was trying to make me feel better, but then she did say he is really short (though definitely NOT a dwarf.)   So I guess maybe Jasper will just be really really short? I’m not sure what to make of all this.

Of course I googled short femur measurement and immediately wished I hadn’t. There are all sorts of genetic disorders that this can be a marker for, even developing this late in the game. Things like Down’s syndrome, dwarfism etc. etc.

I know 38 weeks doesn’t seem like that far behind in measurements, but at this point I’m 2 days shy of 41 weeks, so it’s 3 weeks behind which is several standard deviations below normal. The midwife isn’t concerned at all, but that is small comfort to me when it comes to my baby!

In terms of progress news, she also did an internal and said I’m now a “Loose” 1cm, about 60% effaced and -1 station. So that’s a tiny bit of progress.. maybe the acupuncture session last night had some effect.

She also said they won’t let me go all the way until 42 weeks, I need to have the baby before then. They also don’t like to induce over the weekend, so if I don’t go into spontaneous labor (and she told me she thought I would within a few days) we’re looking at a next Thursday or latest next Friday induction.

Now I don’t give a rat’s ass about any of that though.. I just want to know he’s healthy. Short little legs and all :(

Poor Jeff, he’s considering wearing a Tshirt to work that says “No, no baby yet!”

I did call up my infertility acupuncturist just now to see if she does induction acupuncture. The receptionist said yes (yay!) but today is the last day she’ll be there until next tuesday, so she is going to talk to her and see if she can squeeze me in today, which would be great. At least I would feel like I was doing something proactive.

Hmm, what else.. oh, got my “last” mani/pedi. Cleaning ladies are coming today..have been taking walks every day, twice yesterday actually.

Oh, my mom mentioned that if he doesn’t come by next Friday he’ll be a Virgo and not a Leo. That is so weird for me for many reasons, partly because I’ve been expecting him to be a Leo all this time, but also because (and I hope this doesn’t offend anyone!) most Virgo men I know have issues. They tend to idealize women to the point that no woman (probably mom included) can live up to their expectations.  Of course I can’t control what sign he will be, but I would if I could control freak that I am!

In other news, we tried switching our dog’s food and even though we mixed the old with the new she has diarrhea. On the day we are getting the house cleaned, perfect. So I am working from home so that I can let her out during the day. Poor baby, I could hear the sounds her little stomach was making all the way across the room.

OK, I’ve rambled enough (I’m not in labor, you get the picture!).. hopefully I’ll have something more substantial to report tomorrow. Wait, scratch that, hopefully I WON’T be posting tomorrow because I’ll be giving birth!