12 more hours as a mother of one..

So, things didn’t exactly go as planned this week.  As far as the GIRLS, they both did everything right, they are head down, only about 12% difference in size. It’s my BODY that won’t cooperate!

When I went in for an internal Thursday my cervix was COMPLETELY closed, high, not even soft or effaced. I.e: unfavorable for an induction. Despite all my strong Braxton hix, cramps etc, my cervix just does NOT want to do what it’s supposed to do.  Bad memories of being in labor with Jasper and taking 12 hours to get from 0-2cm!

The bottom line is that garden variety OBs like mine are VERY uncomfortable delivering twins past 38 weeks (they talk about risks of cord entanglement, still birth, low fluid etc etc).  Now I’m pretty sure from reading and doing research that there may not be too much truth to this, but I’ve had the sneaking suspicion that my body just does NOT want to go into labor, similar to how it did not with Jasper, which is why I carried him 41+ weeks. That is simply not an option for me at this point..

I’ve barely managed to survive until 38, I really don’t think I can take another day. And there’s NO way they would let me go until when I think my body would be ready.

The other factor that’s been haunting me is that my baseline of discomfort is so ridiculously high, that the idea of LABORING on top of it is frankly inconceivable.  In fact, at the MFM on Wednesday for my non-stress test I was actually crying from the back pain and lack of oxygen from being on my back for so long.  How would I ever survive labor?

I do admit I feel a bit as if I’m giving up the good fight..but these are the choices I made a while back when I decided to opt for a hospital with a higher-level NICU (in case the girls were born early) rather than a hospital where midwives would deliver me (like where I had Jasper.) But it is what it is. Tomorrow I’ll be a mom of THREE!

I would write more,  a LOT more, but it’s my last few hours with Jasper and he’s dying for my attention right now..more later when I can!

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Fiona says:

Looking forward to your next post! xxx Hope you’re well and your lovely family too. xxx

Darci says:

Cannot wait to see pics, my bro and his wife are due to have twins any day now….Girls too

GiGi says:

I hope by now your family of 5 is settling into the madness of life with newborns. (((HUGS))) to you all!

Chrissy says:

Ariana, awe congrats on the twinsies birthday!! Don’t worry about giving up the good fight lol. You just never know with twins your body might surprise you. My friend had twin boys and near the end could only sleep on the couch on a colossal mound of pillows and she was as worried and uncomfortable as you. But get this she had her two boys natural and one slid out right after the other so that’s what I’ll be praying for for you. :)

Jennifer says:

I was just checking in tonight to see how things were progressing. I can’t believe that it is already time for them to arrive. From someone looking in from the outside, your pregnancy went so fast. By now the girls have arrived. I’m praying that all is well. {hugs}

Jenny says:

Your twins have a great birthday!…mine as well! I hope everything is well and can’t wait to see pictures of the beautiful girls!

cynthia says:

I have been thinking of you. I love reading your blog and was so excited to hear the news of your twins ( I gave birth to boy/girl twins in July and have an older son). I hope all is well and that you are recovering with your growing family!!

Ayla says:

Stumbled across your blog when I googled for “free baby lightroom presets”. Coincidentally, I’m 36 weeks pregnant with twin girls (also have 1 older child) and no signs of dilation/effacement. And I’m miserable, so hoping to get induced next Monday at 37 weeks. Best of luck on a safe and quick delivery!

p.s. besides the one lightroom preset you mentioned on your blog, if you know of any other, please list them on your blog. would love ways to speed up processing, since I’d imagine raising 3 kids 2 and under is quite a challenge. Not sure how you manage all that you do!!!

Farah says:

Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow Ariana!

Kate says:

Me too, Kelsey! I’m refreshing every hour. Something tells me they’re not worrying about the website update right now.

Kelsey says:

Checking the site way too much for updates– hope all is well!

Kate says:

For anyone interested, cervidil is supposed to be quite good with softening the cervix but they tend to try misoprostol first because it’s much cheaper. However, 1/4 pill of misoprostol sent my contractions into absolute overdrive and they had to inject me with something to slow them down. Not that it applies to Ariana in this case but I think there are alternatives for women to try first if they’re trying to avoid a c-section.

Kate says:

Guessing you must have had the babies by now. Hope all is well.

Stephanie says:

Thirty-eight weeks with twins is phenomenal! Fingers crossed for an easy delivery and quick recovery. :)

jbhat says:

I am so happy for you! It’s almost hard to believe that you will be able to love anyone more than you love Jasper….but those girls will cause your love to just grow and grow. I know what you mean about spending time with your little one when he’s the ONLY one. But it will all be so good. I’m rooting for everyone today.


vikki kourbelis says:

OMG Ariana, 38 weeks!! That is bloody amazing for a twin pregnancy, you are a superstar! Wishing you a smooth delivery tomorrow, can’t wait to see your beautiful girls. Your heart will be bursting with love when you see their little faces.

pam says:

good luck! you did fantastic getting so far!

my cervix was the same way (only i never even had contractions or braxton hicks or anything), but with triplets you only get c/s anyway, so it was a moot point.

anyway, can’t wait to “meet” your girls and see what awesome photos you get of them!

Fiona says:


Wishing you the very best of luck in the next hours…..a mum on three! my, oh my!

We all look forward to seeing your new babies, and Jasper with them too!

Much love.

Fiona x

Kimberly says:

Ariana! 38 weeks twins… you are a ROCK. STAR. I’m so excited to see your sweet, beautiful girls… all the best of luck tomorrow! Thoughts and prayers coming your way, my friend… xoxoxoxo

spark says:

What an amazing time! You are amazing Ariana! Completely understand the discomfort. I had PDS, oh lordy, worse than labour itself. Can not imagine the weight of twins. You’ve done amazingly well. Best of luck for delivery. Lots of love to your family.xxx

nanette says:

So excited for you! Sending lots of happy and healthy delivery vibes your way!

Jen says:

So exciting Ariana! You are a trooper and if this what your body needs, so be it. Good luck tomorrow. A mom of three soon you’ll be!!

Suzette says:

As a mom of twins myself I completely understand the level of discomfort! My thoughts will be with you tomorrow!

Jamie says:

Enjoy these last few days full of new things. I hope they are joyful and you feel successful with what ever happens. I will be thinking and praying for you all.

Jennifer says:

It seems like your twin girls will have the same birthday as mine :) Congrats!!!

Heather says:

Good luck with everything! Can’t wait to “meet” your two beautiful little girls!

Nina says:

Good luck tomorrow, Ariana! You are making the safest choice for you and the twins. Snuggle Jasper super tight tonight and I can’t wait to see him as a big brother! :)

anne laney says:

you are making the right choice for you.. don’t feel guilty of it! i wouldn’t risk it either! ashton was frank breech and found out at 41 weeks.. my cervix wasn’t doing crap either but they figured it was the fact he was breached.. they gave me the option of flipping him but they told me what could go wrong and how PAINFUL it would be. i completely freaked out.. it’s not about me it’s about the safety of my child. so i opted for a c-section.. i was amazed how painless it all was… even when they gave me the stuck the needle in my spine i felt NOTHING. with that said, recovery was a major bitch though! not scaring you just be prepared for the most excruciating pain ever! i wish you the best! and a healthy delivery to two beautiful healthy girls! 38weeks is amazing for twins! can’t wait to see them!

Susan says:

Good Luck!!!! So exciting! Lots of love to you, Jeff and Jasper!

Good luck tomorrow. I can’t wait to see your little girls. Btw you are super hero, launching new product, taking care of your family and Jasper and carrying twins until 38 weeks is just aaaamazing!!!! All the best to you and hope to see you soon,