I Peed on a Stick and (drumroll..)

BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m still in SHOCK!

It’s only 8 days after a 3 day transfer, which equates to testing  at around 11 days past ovulation, or 3 days before a missed period which is still pretty early. I wasn’t expecting the line to turn so dark so fast. With Jasper I tested on the same day and you could barely see it!

My Beta HCG test (blood test to confirm pregnancy) wasn’t scheduled until Monday, but there was NO WAY I was going to wait until then a) because I’m too impatient and b) because it means going into the office early in the morning and waiting around minute by agonizing minute until they call you with the results that afternoon.  When I think of being told I’m pregnant or not pregnant by a nurse on the other end of the phone, and then calling Jeff with the good or bad news at work.. it’s just so CLINICAL.

I know that’s an odd thing to say because the whole IVF process is clinical, but this part, this one little part I wanted us to experience at home like a normal couple and either celebrate together or cry in each others arms.

Of course it still didn’t work out exactly as I had it in my head..

I woke up at 6am and had to pee SO BADLY that there was no way I could wait until Jeff and Jasper woke up at their usual 7am or so.  But I also knew that was early to test so it would be essential to use first morning urine.

So I tested.. and then when it turned positive I ran and dragged Jeff out of bed into the bathroom where I presented him with the two lines..

He was so bleary eyed it took him a good minute or so to register what I was showing him… those two lines that we’ve only ever seen one other time and probably will never see again!

I emailed my Dr. who told me to come in for the Beta blood test today, I will go back again Monday to see if the Beta HCG is rising appropriately. If it doesn’t, that means bad news for this being a viable pregnancy.  He also cautioned me that it’s still very early and I should only be cautiously optimistic. And my head KNOWS that.

But the fact is that with our BFP with Jasper I was SO scared in the beginning that I actually burst into tears at the Dr’s office getting my blood drawn for the second Beta test.. so scared that I couldn’t let myself enjoy the good news.

So yes, I KNOW there is SO much that can go wrong still, particularly at my age.  But I feel joyful, so even if the wise thing to do is guard my heart against disappointment, I want to enjoy this feeling of being pregnant knowing how hard we worked to get here and just bask in it for at least the weekend.

THANK YOU for all the positive vibes, prayers, well wishes or whatever you have offered up on our behalf.  Whichever way this goes, I am so very grateful for your support!!

PS: If you are the betting kind, when I was pregnant with Jasper the Giants and the Patriots played in the superbowl and the Giants won. I had a good feeling about our chances for this cycle when I found out the same teams were playing this year and I’m pretty sure we are going to have a repeat performance from the Giants. Being Giants fans that could all be wishful thinking, but we will DEFINITELY be placing some money on them to win – we are feeling very lucky :)

UPDATE: For those of you who know what these numbers mean, I just got the callback with my Beta. 112! OMG. With Jasper at 12 days (not 11 like today) it was 31.  GULP!

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Marie says:

I’m so excited for you and your family. Congratulations!

Sara says:

Wow, congrats! So happy for you and your family!

Alexandra says:

I’ve never commented before, but I’ve been reading your blog for at least a year now. I want to thank you for always being so honest and generous with your knowledge…I LOVED the posts about forgetting your camera/memory card on some of your first shoots. Hysterical. I live in Tucson but am from Brooklyn, and I just so enjoy your take on things. I am so incredibly happy for you and want to wish you the very best with this pregnancy. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you! I had two miscarriages before having my third baby at 40 (other kids were 10 and 7). You just never know. If you’re meant to have another little person, you will!!! Wishing you and your sweet family all good things :)

yulie says:

Congratulations!!! So happy for you and your family :)

holly says:

WONDERFUL new! Congratulations!

Brenna says:

Congratulations, Ariana! This is such a wonderful way for so many of us to start the week. That may sound odd, since I know it’s a private journey for your family, but it’s been a privilege to be a part of it from the supportive sidelines. As the (MANY) comments will attest, we’re all so excited and thrilled for you. Best wishes for a safe and joyful pregnancy!

Lisa says:

Congratulations on the high Beta! Since it’s so high right away, doesn’t that mean that there might be more than one growing in there?!
It’s nice to hear stories of when IVF is successful. I’m hoping to do a second round of IVF in the next few months.

spark says:

Brilliant news Ariana! Lots of love and luck your way. xxxx

Meagan K says:

Oh my goodness!! I am sooo excited to hear this news….I can’t wait to hear more good stories on down the road. Now, I ‘m not too familiar with IVF and what the Beta numbers mean, but if they’re that high now compared to Jasper…is there a chance for multiples?!? So excited! Keeping you in my prayers :)

Kari says:

TWINS!! I am rooting for you so hard and have been keeping yo in my thoughts. I’m testing tomorrow at 13dpo and I hope I’m as lucky as you.
xoxoxo

Joanna says:

OMG OMG OMG Good for you! Maybe TWINS! AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!!

Sandra says:

oh, and WOW that’s a high beta. Twins? Triplets? ;)

Sandra says:

Congrats!!! :))

Amy says:

YAY!!! I am sooo happy for you. Like Vikki, I seriously burst into tears reading this.

PS-I’m betting on twins ;o) eeek!

Dulce says:

Congrats! Happy and healthy 9 months =)

vikki says:

ARIANA!!!!!!!! I just read your fantastic news and I burst into tears! I’m hedging my bets on twins for you. You are going to be doubly blessed, I can just feel it. I can’t wait to see all your hopes and dreams come true.

I’ve never commented here but I’ve been reading for a while. I just had to say congratulations!!! I really love that you are allowing yourself to feel the happiness. :) I’m so so so happy for you.

jen says:

Congratulations!!! I am so, so happy for you! And thinking every good thought I can.

Regarding betas… I had a very high beta at 9dp3dt and felt great. Then had a 69-hour doubling time (ugh.), followed by a 30-hour doubling yay!), then an 80-hour doubling (ugh.) We did a single embryo transfer, so no real chance of a vanishing twin. We were given very little chance of a viable pregnancy, but lo and behold, saw a heartbeat at 5w5d. I didn’t have another beta.

I’m 16 weeks now, have had several ultrasound and everything looks great. So, yeah, don’t do what I did and spend WAY too much time looking into those numbers.

Congratulations again and have fun celebrating this weekend!

Karen H says:

Yes! So happy for you! Congratulations!

christineous says:

Congrats to you and especially Jasper because I know he’s been a very patient Big Brother in the making! I can’t wait to watch your family grow. I read your blog all the time. Although I’ve never been through IVF, something tells me those numbers are outrageous! You might have hoped for one more child, but becareful what you wish for, you just might get triple that! Haha. Enjoy your first prego weekend!
~momof6mejias

Wendy Rakvica says:

OMG!!!!! YAYYYYYY!! I even texted my Sister in Law to tell her and to come on here and read this cause we both follow you! Im so happy for you and your family and its such a blessing! Also the numbers are HIGH WOAH! That must mean multiples? Im assuming! Good luck and god bless! XOXO!

Farah says:

Wishing you all the luck in the world Ariana! I’m so happy for you! : )

danielle says:

Congrats!!! I too found out I was pregnant right before the Giants won their last Superbowl….we have a three year old boy named ELI!!! So maybe in another 8 months you will too!! Good luck babies for sure!!!

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