Dropping the Second Nap – Let’s Discuss!
August 3rd, 2009 by ariana
But first, allow me to share a few photos I took Saturday of my beautiful, 7 month pregnant friend Sarah – my first ever maternity shots!
Before I show you my two favorite images, I have to tell you that I was totally out of my groove photography wise.. she had to leave before the light was at it’s best and that was part of the problem, but I could have posed/handled the tricky lighting a lot better than I did. I think I had her turned the wrong way pretty much the whole time! I also realized two things:
1) Photographing adults is challenging. Yes, they sit still, and yes they listen to you when you ask them to do something. But as Spiderman’s gran used to say “with great power comes great responsibility”. Which is to say that because your subject actually LISTENS to you, you have to be much more responsible for posing them in contrast to waiting for your toddler to strike a pose almost by accident as they are running around.
2) Photographing friends can be a bit awkward! With strangers I can sort of pretend I know what I’m doing more than I do, and sound more authoritative when I’m posing them.. and the friend might play up being a model a bit more with a “photographer” behind the lens. But when two friends get together there’s a bit more of an awareness that each is playing a part. Obviously there are also advantages to photographing friends (less pressure!) but this is just something that I hadn’t really thought about before.
OK, preamble, here is my favorite image:
Shot with my Canon digital rebel xsi and Tamron AF 28-75mm f/2.8 Lens, at these settings:
f4.0
SS 1/125th
ISO 400 (this should have been lower!)
And a close second featuring adorable soon-to-be big sister Daphne:
4.0
SS 1/50th
ISO 200 (this should have higher so shutterspeed could have been higher!)
On to the nap discussion…
So, many of us are at, near or just beyond the first year mark, a time some babies start to drop their second afternoon nap. I actually think MOST babies drop it closer to 14 months or so, but as he has proven time and time again – Jasper doesn’t do ANYTHING like most babies (sigh.) For the past two months or so he has been fighting that second afternoon nap tooth and nail at home. At daycare (of course!) he will still take a decent hour or so nap at 2pm after his morning 10-11:30 morning nap.
At home it’s a completely different story.. he takes that same 10:00am morning nap but 2pm rolls around and he shows NO signs of stopping. So I started pushing it to 3:00pm hoping the extra hour would wear him out. Nope.
What had been happening is that he gets EXHAUSTED by 4pm and takes a 30 minute cat nap around that time.. until the last week or so when he hasn’t really shown signs of being tired until 5pm at which point it’s really too late to take a nap before bed!
Saturday he actually napped from 10-12:20pm.. the longest nap on record for non frebrile Jasper. I thought that maybe this extension of the morning nap meant that he truly is ready to consolidate the two naps into one longer one and that I should just go with it. So Sunday, even though he seemed pretty sleepy at 10am I decided to try to push his “one” nap later in the day so that he’d have less awake hours in the afternoon before bedtime.
But then I caved at about 10:30 when he seemed really really sleepy. So I put him in his crib where he proceded to play with his bear, take his socks off and just walk around his crib for 30 minutes. He ended up not going down until about noon, at which point I thought he would take a marathon nap (he’s never stayed up that late in the morning!)
But no. Our little energizer bunny slept for a total of 45 minutes. ALL DAY. ARGHHHH!
So now I’m just really confused. Is all this schedule changing because he’s in that transition period between still needing two naps but also getting ready to drop to one? Or maybe it’s because he’s getting one of his top teeth (though he wasn’t exceptionally whiny at all.)
Those of you with babes around the one year mark – have you seen signs of the dissappearance of the second nap? And those of you with older kids do you remember at what age they dropped down to one nap and was there a lot of variablity in nap timing?
Or am I just the “lucky” mom of the baby-who-needs-no-sleep?
Why would that not surprise me!
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i’m glad to hear i’m not the only one going through this. although, each day is different for us. i stay at home so i can be more flexible with her naps each day…not sure how it works at daycare. anyway, i’ve been putting her down around 10:30 and she’ll either fall asleep right away or stay up for 15-30 mins and then sleep until 12 or so. that’s about a 1 and 1/2 hour nap give or take.
her afternoon nap as been from 3:30, 4:00 to 5:00, 5:30 which is fine by me lately b/c she’ll go down for bed later and has been getting up later in the mornings. as i’m writing this, i realize i’m of no help!
anyway, i think what we have in common is that on the days i think i’ll try doing one nap, huge FAIL! like what happened to jasper, my little ava did the same. i put her down around 12 and she woke up at 1. no way could she survive the rest of the day with that nap. it was not a fun day and the next day we went back to our normal schedule.
now ava is 13 months and has cut 2 molars recently…the next 2 are close behind so i’m just chalking it up to that. she STTN consistently, so i really can’t complain.
i’m interested to hear what others have to say…especially the more experienced moms! if anything, i hope i made you feel like there was someone else out there going through the same scenario!
BTW, beautiful pics!
Here I am, jumping up and down, waving my hand in the air! Me too! Me too! Noah’s been showing signs of not wanting that second nap after a good morning nap. So last week I pushed him until 1 for his nap and then he would sleep up to THREE hours (um, AWESOME!). But this past weekend he started melting down at 11 and throwing fits so I napped him and he slept for no longer than an hour, ALL DAY. So we’re back to square one and I am napping him right now (at 10 am) because he just couldn’t deal this morning. From what I hear, the transition to one nap isn’t going to be smooth or easy…it can take a couple of months to figure it out, for both mom and baby. Sigh.
Ahhh – that first pic is my favorite too! She’s a gorgeous preggo model mom, that’s for sure! But there’s something about the lighting and possibly even the dress in that top pic, it looks sooooo 70s romance! Like it came in the picture frame!
Goo! I honestly can’t remember at what age Owen dropped his 2nd nap. All I know is that I’m INCREDIBLY lucky that at 32 months old he is still taking one 2-hour long nap each day!
I tried to keep Kaity on the same schedule that I had the boys on and it really has worked for me through the years.
She wakes up at like 6:30 and I give her some formula and leave and she will go back to sleep or play until 8. These days depending on how she is acting I will put her to bed at 10am and sometimes she falls asleep, sometimes she doesn’t. We have lunch at 12 and depending on if she takes a nap in the morning will depend on what time I put her down in the afternoon. The boys go down at 1ish and she follows them shortly after so I can have “me time” She will sleep for 1 1/2 hours! She goes to bed at 7:30 at night and sleep all the way through. So, I only do 2 naps and have for a while now. You can try that and see how he does. Good luck to you as you find what works for you!
I think he misses you and just wants to hang out with you on the weekends. Can’t do that if he goes to sleep.
That said, I too don’t remember how our napping schedule went. (I feel like I say that a lot in my comments. Why can’t I remember anything?) But I do know that we only very recently, as recently as this spring, allowed our kiddo to give up an afternoon nap on the weekends. We’d read an adult type story to him in a soft whisper and he’d pass out on our bed for an hour or so. But those days are over now too.
first… gorgeous mommy to be… and as always LOVELY portraits ariana! that first one is out of control perfect!
secondly – yeah, nap time has been a challenge here too. I had Liam at home all week last week, so I really wanted to be able to count on scheduled nap times to get some work done, and what did i find out? “schedule, sdhmedule…” the PLAN is… up at 7… nap at 10:30 – second nap around 2:30. the nanny who came to help me for a few days thought i was crazy when i told her that he was TOTALLY routine. i guess as usual, I am here saying that I am no help, but again, another case of “right there with you”.
i always thought that babies dropped the first nap – not the second? i guess it doesn’t make a difference other than the fact that eventually it will become one nap somewhere during the day. until then, I’ll continue to just look for the cues and try to get that kid as much precious sleep as possible.
oh – and he is back to daycare this morning – ahhhhhhhhh!
;)
My son, Jake is almost 17 mo, and we dropped the second nap awhile ago…mostly because of daycare. He usually sleeps from about 11-12:30 or 1 which is pretty good. Left to his own devices, he’d probably nap again in the afternoon, but he’s definitely ready for bed by 7 or 7:30.
OK, so here’s my SOS mommy question…my son has started throwing TEMPER TANTRUMS when he can’t have what he wants! Yikes! I’ve read that this behavior tends to happen in the half years…18 mo, 30 mo, but what should I do? Ignore? Hug? Distract (it only works sometimes!) Time out (which I hate the thought of!)
Any ideas from fellow moms?
I have the worst napper in the world.We’ve tried 11am and 3pm and then gone to the one nap after lunch around 12:30pm… nothing seems to work. The kids just hates to nap. I have come to terms with the fact that she just sucks at napping.
That photo looks wonderful. Wish I had a photographer friend to document my pregnancy!
Okay, I’m not going to be any help to you either with regards to napping but here’s my experience so far.
My little guy just turned 14 months and there have been several days where he’s gone without his second nap. Does this mean his afternoon nap is longer or that he goes to bed any earlier? No way.
He’ll take a 1-2 hour nap at around 11 a.m. During the week, his childcare provider has trouble getting him to take a second nap so she just lets him stay up. Every time I pick him up, she says he really needs a nap but then he’s so excited to see me, all hopes of a second nap are out the door.
But when he’s home with me on the weekends or a couple of days in a row, I do get him to take a second nap at around 4-5 p.m. for about 45 minutes. He refuses to go down for the night any earlier than 8:30 p.m. no matter if he gets that second nap or not, so I don’t mind letting him nap that late in the day.
Seems to me like babies are always in transition no matter what month they’re in so I’ve learned to just roll with it.
I’m actually surprised he still has two naps at his age and with his active personality! Right at a year, with all three of my boys, they transitioned from 2 naps, to one solid nap at noon til about 2 or 3pm. As they grew to 2yrs old, they still needed this one afternoon nap, but you could hold them off til more like 1pm til 3 or 4pm. It is heavenly to be down to ONE nap and not have to work your day around two shorter ones. I am prepared to have them up later (like 8 or 9pm) if they have had a long afternoon nap.
The two older boys quit naps all together around three years of age, when they were in their “big boy beds” without a diaper.
Well, it sounds like there’s just no easy answer! At least I know that a) it’s completely normal and b) I’m in very good company :)
@Sarah I am very jealous of that 8am wakeup!
@Sara, sounds about right – trial and error. Mostly error ;)
@JB, I like your explanation. And why do you think I’m writing this blog? I don’t remember ANYTHING. If it were not for this blog, poor future Jasper would ask me about his baby years and I’d stare at him blankly!
Kari, daycare! when was he in it last? I guess you are right, they do drop the morning nap! In my mind because he is so sleepy in the morning and totally needs his nap it’s him not wanting the afternoon nap and pushing that morning nap that he does want INTO the afternoon. But technically you are right I’m just thinking of it backwards :)
Heather, I’ll do a separate post for you, but I was just listening to the NMNB podcast on behavior and the developmental expert lady basically said that you should distract and teach by modeling the proper behavior. Easier said than done! I thought it was interesting because she basically said that babies that age are too young to manipulate or need discipline. They need to be “taught” the right way:
http://newmomsnewbabies.com/can-you-discipline-your-little-one-setting-limits-nmnb-ep15/
Despite the potential reprocussions of letting my comic book geek flag fly, I feel it necessary to correct a MAJOR error, and grave injustice carelessly written within the contents of this blog post… It was Spiderman’s Uncle (Uncle Ben) who coined the phrase “With great power comes great responsibility” and not his grandmother… for shame Ari… for shame… LOL, the pictures look great, you’re too hard on yourself!
Back to see if you responded to comments, which you did–yay! I love that you do that. And also to say that the photos of your pal and her belly and her little one are very pretty indeed. I love her dress. AND to say that tantrums are the worst. Since I don’t have to “remember” how we deal with those–since it’s oh-so current (unfortunately!), I will be able to respond with a coherent comment when you do the post about it.
There. Back to work now…
We dropped the second nap a few weeks ago, at about 11.5 months. He was skipping the morning nap at daycare, but fighting the afternoon nap on the days he was at home. While he still gets sleepy in the morning, I couldn’t handle trying SO hard to get him down for a second nap. I felt like I was abandoning him in his crib while he just played in the dark for 30 or 45 minutes in the afternoon. Since most kids “hang on” to the afternoon nap rather than the morning one, we decided to just power through the mornings and have him take a solid afternoon nap. It’s worked out great so far! He sleeps really well in the afternoon (usually 2+ hours), goes to bed well, and sleeps later in the morning. Let’s hope it keeps up!
There is no easy answer!! Adam (now 13 months old) is undecided about dropping his second nap! So right now we are taking it on a day to day basis and since I’m such a schedule freak it’s driving me bananas! But I let him lead the way. Some days he takes two naps and others he just takes one. When he only takes one nap he is the fussiest baby in the world – by four o’clock I’m wishing I could have a double! I’m hoping we’ll get this figured out soon but I’m glad to see that I am not alone here. Hang tough ladies!
I’m so lucky that Finn is a couple of months younger; your blog is like a “heads up” for me. I can’t imagine him operating on only one nap so soon, though. At almost 10 months he does one at 10 or 10:30 and another around 3ish… but he only sleeps in 40 minute cycles and wakes after one cycle these days — which Pantley’s THE NO-CRY NAP SOLUTION says is not enough (she says naps at least 1.5 hours in length are needed for full benefits). She also says that at 12 months babies can do 1 or 2 naps, but that that TOTAL amount of naptime sleep should be 2-3 hours. Currently, Finn usually gets less than 2! I’d like to hear more about how much total daytime sleep other 10-12 month olds are getting.
Okay, now I feel like something isn’t right. Landon turns 1 in a week and he is still napping twice. He loves his sleep. He does 10 a.m. and 2 or 3 p.m. Then he goes to bed around 7:30 but has been waking up at 5 to 5:30 a.m. every morning. It is killing us. I am wondering if we need to cut the second nap.
jb, you can be our guest blogger expert about temper tantrums! :)
Marybeth, I’m so glad that’s working for you.. that was our plan too on Sunday, but it totally backfired for us. I wonder if we need to be more gradual about it?
Monica, that’s EXACTLY our story! By 5 he’s soooo sleepy.
Sarah, I think Jasper’s NORMAL daytime sleep has been averaging about 3 hours (at daycare) and two and a half at home with two naps. Obviously the subject of this post is that things are changing now, but that HAD been the norm if that helps..
Molly, that may be the case.. or not. Some babies are just really early risers, but you can definitely try tinkering and see. Though my gut feeling tells me if he isn’t fighting going to sleep for that second nap he probably still needs it.. I think the common theme here is that they really start fighting going down when they are ready for that change!
Molly And Ariana,
I feel your pain. Sleep, whether it be in the form of a nap or nighttime sleep, has been a consistent struggle for us. Miles is almost 15 months and I don’t think he is at all ready to give up a 2nd nap. What concerns me is that he is home from childcare in the summer, and goes back at the end of August and I fear he will resist naps completely as we have such a schedule and routine that consists of fans, stories, rocking, etc–there is no way of replication at childcare. (Though I am tempted to throw in a few extra bucks to see if they’ll spend the extra time to help him–jk!).
We, too, have a VERY early riser. 5:30am is pretty standard, and 6:10pm is LATE. And trust me, we have tried every trick in the book (ferber, pantley, etc) to get him sleep longer. Therefore, the day is a really long day without 2 naps. We try to get him down by 7:30pm, but it is usually closer to 8pm.
Here is my general mommy gut: you do what works for you–or what works better for you (we clearly have nothing that really “works!”), and if your child still needs 2 naps–do it. I guess my feeling is that unless there is some compelling scientific edvidence that suggests that by “x” months you must give up the 2nd nap, you shouldn’t feel like you need to subscribe to all generalities about napping schedules.
And in terms of the resistant napper–we struggle with that, too. Ariana–I know that feeling. Your boy just fights the nap with all his might, but you know in your heart he is tired (even overtired) and that he could really use a nap–especially because you know once 4pm rolls around, without that 2nd nap, you are in trouble! If I had the magic answer of how to get a resistant napper down for that 2nd nap, I could quit my day job. :) For the time being, we try to be really consistent with our routine–even if it means quiet play and cuddling for 45 minutes before I would like Miles to get to sleep…and then another 45 minutes of working on the actual nap.
Somedays it works–and somedays I think I am a top candidate for most failed mommy in the world. But what I keep reminding myself in all if this:
There will be a time in Miles’s future when I am dragging him out of the bed, forcing him to get ready for high school. Oh, and how tempted I will be to occassionally wake him up at 5am and remind him of the fun we had when he was little. :)
Thanks for responding, Ariana. I guess what I should have asked is what total amount of naptime sleep babies at a year old (or around there) are getting AFTER they drop that second nap. I’m wondering how much sleep they generally need in one nap to get them through the day… I just read Ali’s comments and share some of the same concerns: We’re lucky to get Finn down for just the 40 min — and that’s after OUR specific rituals done while home this summer. When he’s a year old, someone else will be trying to put him down! It’s SO helpful to hear how others are dealing with similar issues.
Molly, I LOL at your last paragraph :)
Sarah, I don’t know from experience, but I’ve read that it should be just under three hours. Riiiiiiiight!
How relieving to find this blog. Chloe just turned 15 months and loves her 9:30am nap but rarely sleeps during her 2pm nap anymore. I was confused by her dropping her afternoon nap because I’ve heard of more children dropping the morning. Either way, figured it was time to reduce to one nap but what a nightmare it had been!
First day into the “transition” she slept at noon but only for just over an hour! Today, well she’s been in her crib for almost an hour now, playing… Before putting her down she was majorly tired so I have no idea why she decided to veto the nap once in the crib. I can tell this is not going to be easy.