Comments on: Becoming Alone http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/ Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:42:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Gina http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-11715 Gina Sat, 18 Sep 2010 12:14:58 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-11715 I have just "become alone"...same feelings same losses same situation... The biggest loss is my daughter will never have that family I so wanted for her( she is two) and the grief that I may not have another baby... Thanks for ur post I have just “become alone”…same feelings same losses same situation… The biggest loss is my daughter will never have that family I so wanted for her( she is two) and the grief that I may not have another baby…
Thanks for ur post

]]> By: monika http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-4345 monika Sat, 04 Jul 2009 21:12:06 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-4345 Ariana, I have been out of town for 3 weeks and so just caught up to where I had left off with your blog. I am so shocked and so sorry to hear about this news. I cannot believe how much this has upset me-I really enjoy your tips and style of sharing and every time I visit your site I share the info with my husband. Having a little baby has been very stressful and I know what you mean about being a team, although my husband tries hard. I think I have a higher standard somehow and am always critical. My son Kirin is just one month younger than Jasper. Your words remind me not to be so mean always but I cannot help but cry for you and feel so sad. I know Jasper will always know how very loved he is by his parents. I hope something magically brings you and Jeff together, although I dont even know if that is what you want- but I know you want everything for Jasper. I dont know you at all but feel some connection through your site and yours is the first blog I have ever read. My husband understood when I cried tonight and told him how upset I was for you. I think you deserve more and hope you are not too scared because I know I would be scared as hell. You are an amazing mom and a wonderful example of one as well and I do believe you are an amazing women too. I hope no one reads this because they will think I am a wacko. lots of love and my hurt aches and also hopes and also holds support for you, Monika. Ariana,
I have been out of town for 3 weeks and so just caught up to where I had left off with your blog. I am so shocked and so sorry to hear about this news. I cannot believe how much this has upset me-I really enjoy your tips and style of sharing and every time I visit your site I share the info with my husband. Having a little baby has been very stressful and I know what you mean about being a team, although my husband tries hard. I think I have a higher standard somehow and am always critical. My son Kirin is just one month younger than Jasper. Your words remind me not to be so mean always but I cannot help but cry for you and feel so sad. I know Jasper will always know how very loved he is by his parents. I hope something magically brings you and Jeff together, although I dont even know if that is what you want- but I know you want everything for Jasper.

I dont know you at all but feel some connection through your site and yours is the first blog I have ever read. My husband understood when I cried tonight and told him how upset I was for you. I think you deserve more and hope you are not too scared because I know I would be scared as hell. You are an amazing mom and a wonderful example of one as well and I do believe you are an amazing women too.
I hope no one reads this because they will think I am a wacko.
lots of love and my hurt aches and also hopes and also holds support for you,
Monika.

]]> By: AmandaG http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-4098 AmandaG Mon, 22 Jun 2009 22:08:23 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-4098 Everything Jen left in the first post, I second. It was courageous of you to share your story. I notice it touched a lot of people on here, as it did for me. I think it's a testament to your writing and the person you are. My best to you. Everything Jen left in the first post, I second. It was courageous of you to share your story. I notice it touched a lot of people on here, as it did for me. I think it’s a testament to your writing and the person you are. My best to you.

]]> By: Vicky http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-4045 Vicky Thu, 18 Jun 2009 19:59:08 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-4045 I too am going through some sort of separation with my husband of 8 years and 2 small children. I made many mistakes in trying to "fix" things and I can only hope that any advice I may give you will help you from making the same mistakes. First of all did you know that many couples divorce after therapy? I did not research a therapist and it ruined us. I should have found a marriage friendly therapist (which do exist if you google that) It sounds like what you were told is typical of a therapist. However, everyone chooses the "wrong" the person. In other words nobody is perfect, there is no right person and it's the differences between the both of you that you should embrace. Everyone gave me the same advice, be strong, move on blah blah. Although I do not know your entire circumstance, I can tell you that you are in the majority of normal couples who give up way too soon. There is not an expiration date on commitment and so it needs to be honored and appreciated. Give yourselves the chance to love each other I mean really love each other. Respect each other and your differences. Allow each other your own space to enjoy what you may like that the other one doesn't. That's ok. Put each other first. Remember how it was in the beginning and how you felt about each other. When you look at Jeff, think of those feelings. When you think of Jeff, think of only the positive things about him. Forget the negative stuff it just doesn't matter really. When you look through the lens of positivity that is exactly what you will see. Remember behind most emotions is fear. Figure out what your fear is and when you do tell him about it. I can only hope that you find peace within yourself and within your marriage. Jacob needs this most from his parents. The greatest gift you can give your child is to love their father/mother. Blessings I too am going through some sort of separation with my husband of 8 years and 2 small children. I made many mistakes in trying to “fix” things and I can only hope that any advice I may give you will help you from making the same mistakes. First of all did you know that many couples divorce after therapy? I did not research a therapist and it ruined us. I should have found a marriage friendly therapist (which do exist if you google that) It sounds like what you were told is typical of a therapist. However, everyone chooses the “wrong” the person. In other words nobody is perfect, there is no right person and it’s the differences between the both of you that you should embrace. Everyone gave me the same advice, be strong, move on blah blah. Although I do not know your entire circumstance, I can tell you that you are in the majority of normal couples who give up way too soon. There is not an expiration date on commitment and so it needs to be honored and appreciated. Give yourselves the chance to love each other I mean really love each other. Respect each other and your differences. Allow each other your own space to enjoy what you may like that the other one doesn’t. That’s ok. Put each other first. Remember how it was in the beginning and how you felt about each other. When you look at Jeff, think of those feelings. When you think of Jeff, think of only the positive things about him. Forget the negative stuff it just doesn’t matter really. When you look through the lens of positivity that is exactly what you will see. Remember behind most emotions is fear. Figure out what your fear is and when you do tell him about it. I can only hope that you find peace within yourself and within your marriage. Jacob needs this most from his parents. The greatest gift you can give your child is to love their father/mother.
Blessings

]]> By: nanette http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-4017 nanette Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:28:49 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-4017 Ariana - I'm just now catching up on my Reader, so apologies for my delayed response. I'm so sorry you're having to endure this. You are a very strong woman and mom, and i know things will turn out for the best. Ariana – I’m just now catching up on my Reader, so apologies for my delayed response. I’m so sorry you’re having to endure this. You are a very strong woman and mom, and i know things will turn out for the best.

]]> By: Rebekah http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-4002 Rebekah Wed, 17 Jun 2009 14:43:47 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-4002 Ariana, I am so sorry to hear this. You and Jasper (and Jeff) will be okay. You will be in my prayers. Big hugs. Ariana, I am so sorry to hear this. You and Jasper (and Jeff) will be okay. You will be in my prayers. Big hugs.

]]> By: Kristen http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-3994 Kristen Wed, 17 Jun 2009 05:05:00 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-3994 Ariana, I'm so sorry to read this. I was another that said "oh no!" in my head as I read the post from the day after and had to scroll down as I read this post from the day before. You ARE so brave to write this, I know in writing mine how blogs can seem so cheery. And, really how different it is dealing at home with life and all the sudden the extra new responsibility that you love so much being added in. I hope we can be support to you, you seem like such a strong and generous person and no doubt deserve it and to be happy. Ariana, I’m so sorry to read this. I was another that said “oh no!” in my head as I read the post from the day after and had to scroll down as I read this post from the day before. You ARE so brave to write this, I know in writing mine how blogs can seem so cheery. And, really how different it is dealing at home with life and all the sudden the extra new responsibility that you love so much being added in. I hope we can be support to you, you seem like such a strong and generous person and no doubt deserve it and to be happy.

]]> By: Lily http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-3982 Lily Tue, 16 Jun 2009 20:09:47 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-3982 I was so sorry to read this post and feel so much sympathy for all you are going through right now. I appreciate you sharing this with us, your blog readers, many who have followed you from becominghome. It shows strength... one of the things I get from being a blogger is finding common ground and shared experiences with people I don't know in real life. So thank you for that. I was so sorry to read this post and feel so much sympathy for all you are going through right now. I appreciate you sharing this with us, your blog readers, many who have followed you from becominghome. It shows strength… one of the things I get from being a blogger is finding common ground and shared experiences with people I don’t know in real life. So thank you for that.

]]> By: kate http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-3957 kate Tue, 16 Jun 2009 05:17:19 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-3957 Another long time reader and rare commenter. I found your becoming-home blog and followed you to becoming-mom. It's amazing how much I can identify with what you're going through. I'm married but don't have any kids, so I can only imagine how you must feel going through this. Sometimes being married is so hard it's unbearable (is it supposed to be like that?) and I have no idea how we got to where we are. But as cheesy as it sounds, I look at the future and see my husband in it. I think sometimes we get off track and I can't imagine how we could possibly be so far from where I think we should be! I like to think somehow we can bring our path back to where it "should" be. I hope you and Jeff can look at the future you imagined, and see if you can get back on track to get there together. And if you can't, I hope you can take strength from all of us thinking of you! You're a wonderful, strong, beautiful mom and you and Jasper will make it through this, no matter the outcome. Thank you for sharing with us. I think you've left more of a mark on us than anyone expected! Another long time reader and rare commenter. I found your becoming-home blog and followed you to becoming-mom. It’s amazing how much I can identify with what you’re going through. I’m married but don’t have any kids, so I can only imagine how you must feel going through this. Sometimes being married is so hard it’s unbearable (is it supposed to be like that?) and I have no idea how we got to where we are. But as cheesy as it sounds, I look at the future and see my husband in it. I think sometimes we get off track and I can’t imagine how we could possibly be so far from where I think we should be! I like to think somehow we can bring our path back to where it “should” be. I hope you and Jeff can look at the future you imagined, and see if you can get back on track to get there together. And if you can’t, I hope you can take strength from all of us thinking of you! You’re a wonderful, strong, beautiful mom and you and Jasper will make it through this, no matter the outcome. Thank you for sharing with us. I think you’ve left more of a mark on us than anyone expected!

]]> By: KaieRayne http://www.becoming-mom.net/2009/06/12/becoming-alone/comment-page-2/#comment-3951 KaieRayne Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:13:45 +0000 http://www.becoming-mom.net/?p=1061#comment-3951 Hello Ariana, I've been reading your blog over the past few months & never commented.... its time I "delurked" (reading all the old stuff, so I can catch up to the new stuff) It breaks my hear to read this post. :( I'm so very sorry for what you and your family are going through. I've been through this same situation but my husband and I were able to reconcile... so there is hope. I'm not sure exactly what your situation is but just know that I will keep you in my prayers! God Bless! Hello Ariana, I’ve been reading your blog over the past few months & never commented…. its time I “delurked” (reading all the old stuff, so I can catch up to the new stuff) It breaks my hear to read this post. :( I’m so very sorry for what you and your family are going through. I’ve been through this same situation but my husband and I were able to reconcile… so there is hope. I’m not sure exactly what your situation is but just know that I will keep you in my prayers!
God Bless!

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