And the Worst Mom of the Year Award Goes to..

cute hat

Mom, you suck.

Today was an all time mommhood low.. I locked myself out of the house with Jasper inside!!!!

Words cannot even describe the panic I felt as I returned from the car I had just started and turned the doorknob and..nothing. Ohmygod this can’t be happening.. I was totally panicked, I only remembered I had my cell phone in my pocket when I was half-way to the neighbors house.. yes, that would have been embarassing.

“Um, hi.. you don’t know me, but I locked my baby inside the house and I really need to use your phone..and if you don’t call Child protective services when I leave I’d really appreciate it. Yep, ok thanks.”

Thank GOD my parents live about 7 minutes away and have a key to our house. Thank GOD Jasper was in his jumperoo and couldn’t get into harms way while we waited for Grandpa. Thank GOD he likes his jumperoo and didn’t even cry the whole anxiety ridden 7 minutes that seemed like an eternity until my dad arrived… I would have totally lost it if he had been in there crying and I couldn’t get to him.

Yes, we will be making a key and hiding it somewhere so this never happens again. (The reason it happened in the first place is that my mom locked the bottom lock on her way out last night that we never use so I never thought to check it this morning.)

And that ladies and Gentlemen, was the crappy start of what should have been a celebratory morning because….. Guess what??

Jasper STTN!!!! (That’s Slept Through The Night for you non-messageboard folks.)

Yes, the elusive holy grail of parenting has finally occured in our house.  And I don’t even mean the “medical” definition of SSTN which is 5 hours. I mean he slept from about 7:30pm to 5:15 am without needing to eat. But it gets even better because he also didn’t wake crying!

Granted, he did cry for almost 20 minutes last night when going to bed.. and 5:15am is an ungodly wakeup time. But hey, this is a huge milestone and I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Now let’s only hope this isn’t a freak occurence and we have many more nights of unbroken sleep before us.

Now, back to the unferberization..

Aparently this is a common phenomenon.. at least I’ve heard that from other parents on blogs and messageboards but I can’t find any information when I google search “Ferber relapse”. Perhaps I’m searching on the wrong term. But he is most definitely back to almost where we started in terms of the crying when put down and it’s horrible. It’s actually a bit worse now because he’s at the poin’t where he gets upset if we even go to his room to change him because he’s so afraid we’re putting him down for bed or a nap.

I’m at a loss, hopefully someone has some insight they can post??

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Suzanne says:

Let’s see… were stitches involved? Or how about baby super-glue? My Story: We use one of those white noise machines for our son and we had taken it with us that day for his nap. We got home really late, so I put Dylan in his crib (trying desperately not to wake him from car-seat to crib) and I just plugged in the sound machine, put it on the shelf and got out of there. The next morning, I changed him and put him down on the floor to ‘explore’ while I grabbed clothes from the closet (see… I knew better than to leave him on the changing table while I looked away) Of course, by then I had totally forgotten about the hurried placement of the sound machine… and about 3 seconds later… screaming ensues! I’m thinking to myself, “What? did you pinch your finger in a book or something?” You see, I was a child proofing madwoman and KNEW there was nothing for him to get hurt on. So I turn around to see what the problem is and there he is with blood dripping down his face and basically a HOLE above his eyebrow. OMG. Words can’t even begin to describe how bad I felt. That thing isn’t light. I can’t imagine it hitting ME in the head, much less my son. He was 11 months old then and it’s 8 months later now and you can’t even see the little scar. I think it shrank; My angst has not. Mother fo the year 2008, umm, NO.

Your 7 minutes outside w/child in contraption is what I do most days just to get a shower ;)

On the lock-out: We replaced our normal front door lock for one that has a keypad. So, when we go on walks etc, we never take keys. I cannot tell you how many times it’s come in handy when people are coming by and we’re not home yet, or someone wants to drop something off during the day or (thank god) when we can’t get home in time to let the dog out… I love that thing. It wasn’t that expensive and I think we’ve replaced the batteries maybe 2x in 3 years.

Congrats on STTN! Dylan didn’t do it until 8 months. And FYI, he now basically runs to his crib to climb in if you ask him if he wants to go night-night… see there is SOME justice in this world :) (PS: We stick to a pretty strict schedule w/feedingtimes/naptime/bedtime and it’s worked out so far.)

Kath says:

I hear you on the “ugodly 5:15am”. I get that pretty much daily.
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, and I really don’t think there’s anything that I could advise that you haven’t already read and researched up the wazoo. Just saying, you’re pretty well informed.
Love the knit hats, BTW.

Monica says:

As for Ferbers – I don’t know WHY they relapse but the same happened to Adam – maybe seperation anxiety starting to kick in? I had to do it 3x in a period of 3 months in order for it work. Whatever you do…do not give up – hang tough and it will work!

Monica says:

YAY for STTN!!!! You are going to be a changed woman :)

ariana says:

Kari, thanks, you made me feel better :) I LOVE those shopping cart covers, I’m definitely going to order one!

Jill, what a story.. it must have been so awkward with your neighbors that you didn’t know. Did you become friendly with them after that?

jbhat, I can imagine you must have been beside yourself. I think this is super common..every time I mention my fear of him rolling off something to a mom they tell me a story about their kid falling when they looked a way for a sec!

I actually think your sleep advice was pretty right on.. keep to a schedule but know it will get blown to pieces occasionally. To expect anything else is to set myself up for disappointment. I just wish I understood better why it’s so easy some days and so hard others. But if I knew that I’d be a baby whisperer ;)

jbhat says:

I won that award when my kiddo was an infant. I had set him down on the ottoman for a second, a second I tell you, and of course, he rolled right off and immediately started wailing. I was undone. Luckily, it was a low ottoman, and he was fine. At least, he’s 4 now and seems to be fine.

The sleeping thing will continue to mystify you for a long time, I fear. So I really have no words of wisdom, other than to try to be consistent, yet to also go with the flow. I don’t think that makes for very good advice, however.

Jill says:

WOW, what a morning, for sure! I’m so glad that he was safe and happy. Not only that but that you had your cell phone and your parents are SO close!

I have a similar story. I was in our house, cleaning at 12am one night. We had just moved into our house maybe 6 months prior and we didn’t know the neighbors at all. My husband was in Japan and I get freaked out when he’s not there so I locked the bottome lock to the garage door. I took the trash out and slammed the door behind me. The only light in a house close that was on, we had not met or even seen and I was FORCED to knock on their door at 12am at night. I called my dad who had a key and lived 25 minutes away to come and let me in. How embarressing. While I waited they (the neighbors that I didn’t know) insisted that I stay with them and wait. :(

We have a hidden key now to help avoid this situation! :)

kari says:

Mom…you don’t suck!
Would a sucky mom hand make an awesome hat, or make a really excellent mobile, or paint the coolest mural ever, or worry so much about what goes in that little tummy, or teach her internet friends how to take half as dynamic photos as she has taken to document the life of her baby?
me thinks not.

here is the link to the shopping cart cover – i got it on amazon. i had bought a cheaper infantino one at tjmaxx… and it was, well… cheap. so i took it back, and got this one which is amazing. highly reccommend!