Jasper is at Daycare Right Now

For the first time..

I start work again full time on Monday, today I left him at daycare for a few hours for a trial run.. I miss my little monkey :(

I wonder if he misses me? I’m not even convinced he knows who I am yet, I guess that’s better than leaving him when he’s old enough to have true separation anxiety. But the idea that next week I’ll only be spending about 2-3 of his waking hours each day with him breaks my heart.

I wish I could be a SAHM!

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ariana says:

Thanks D. Hey, we’re coming to FL in Dec.. hope we can get to see eachother!

Alana, I just commented on your blog. We have a lot in common ;)

Alana Powers says:

I have been following you blog since I saw the link for it on your profile on thenest. I go back to work on Monday as well. I am feeling terrible as well and wish i could be a SAHM!

Dawn says:

So glad it went well, so sorry it stresses you out. Hugs!

Jules says:

Aw, sorry! If it makes you feel any better, all my friends had experiences like yours: the kids enjoy daycare and didn’t show the crazy attachment to their day-time provider Mikey did. Of course, my mom is the most maternal person on the planet, so that might have been the problem.

My friend (also an attorney) has HUGE over supply issues and both her children gagged and choked during let down. It took a while (a week? couple days?) but her supply adapted to the change once she started working again. :)

ariana says:

Jules, I just read your post.. it made me cry. DAMN!

ariana says:

Thanks for the sympathy everyone!

It was actually not so bad. When I picked him up, little Jasper was in a bouncy seat smiling away. All the other kids (who are around 13 months) were sitting at their little table having snacks and Jasper was pulled up to the table to participate like one of the “big kids!”

He ate when he was supposed to (3 oz.) and took his nap on schedule. He honestly seemed fine…I guess that’s how it always is, babies are fine, it’s mom who’s a mess!

While he was there having a bottle I went to my office and pumped (to get into the groove of how things will be) and was dismayed to only get 2.5 ounces out of my right breast. I know it’s my underperforming one (my left usually gets 4) but it worries me a little.

I know I can take phenugreek and mother’s milk tea etc to boost my supply for pumping but I worry that an increased supply will overwhelm Jasper during let down during the feedings at the breast.

I guess I’ll see on monday maybe my left breast will compensate for the lazy right one!

monica says:

Oh I’m sorry that must be so tough!

Emily says:

Good luck. It is very hard no matter how you do it. My first month back at work I cried every day.

mandoo says:

I’m so sorry your maternity leave is ending… I’ve already started worrying about what it’ll be like to go back to work next fall and I can’t even begin to imagine how you are feeling.

FARAH says:

Ugh, You are in my thoughts

Jennifer says:

Ugh, I feel your pain! I can’t believe your leave is up. It seems like just yesterday that Jasper was still deciding what birthday he wanted.

Jules says:

I wrote about my own struggle to become a SAHM a couple of Fridays ago. Hardest, and best, decision of my life. If you can’t do it now, figure out what needs to happen so you can one day–if it is what you truly want. Best of luck to you. :)